THE FUTILITY OF BEING A FEMINIST

‘The politicians must change their mindset’, this is mostly the rant of the women’s group including the all pervasive NCW. Every time a male politician is caught giving out the sound byte of the day, hoards of women, girls and association in their aggressive best adorn the streets, with banners and slogans pontificating the male politicians on how they should change their approach towards women.

When the President’s Son (almost a parasite on his father) calls women panelist ‘dented and painted’ or a BJP MLA dares women not to cross the Laxman Rekha to protect herself from the Ravana, or a frustrated Sanjay Nirupam calls a former TV actress turned politician ‘paiso ke liye thoomke laganewali,’ it makes us cringe. It outrages us as much an incident of rape or molestation would.  It leaves us wondering where these men come from. Are they some sort of an alien? Who are voting them to power? God knows.

Yet if you talk to your fathers, uncles, in laws and their friends, it is very likely that you have been subject to similar kinds of ‘advice,’ ‘admonitions’ or ‘strictures ’.  The so offensive ‘Laxman rekhas’ are drawn around you in the garb of elderly concern in clockwise regularity. And if you dare to outwit them, then be ready to be called ‘dented and painted’ with as much impunity as was said by the President’s son. But we would rather put up with all this and very conveniently divert our anger towards politicians.

The politicians are rather soft targets. For us they are the embodiments, a collective face for all the ordeals we face in our day to day life. They are like the paper effigies, the ravanas that we burn to symbolize the defeat of evil and the victory of goodness. So, it is easy to hit a symbol, a non human entity that is outside our realm of existence. But when it comes to men of blood and flesh who pervade our lives and to some extent dictate it as well, we would choose to abide by them and get our share of independence through ‘lies,’ ‘crookery,’ ‘in hiding.’

So, women of the 21^st Century are an emancipated lot. But alas they are just underground rebels! For them wearing red lipstick is no more the stuff of a bad girl, but suspiciously the shades go notches lighter as they enter the confines of their home. For the new woman drinking and puking is oh so fashionable, but her parents must not know that she does so. And oh she has taken the ultimate plunge by almost rubbing off the word ‘virginity’ from her consciousness (as she claims) and working against it with a certain vengeance. Yet she would take all the precautions to clear off the clutter of her nocturnal escapades with the precision of a cold blooded murderer who never leaves behind any proof of his crime. So, while she basks in the glory of being the woman who has come of age, she remains the model of ‘good girl’ for her family and relatives.

There is nothing wrong in having the best of both worlds. But what is wrong is our approach. We feel we can simply set things right by witch hunting the politicians, by butchering them for their so called anti female comments, by shouting at the pitch of our voice to get justice on the streets while speaking in hushed voices around our fathers.

One of the biggest fights of feminism since its inception has been to diminish the demarcation of the public space and the private space. With time while women have occupied the public space, their private space continues to be defined by old stereotypes and no one else but she is to be blamed for this. While she creates waves in the newsroom or the boardroom with her feminine intelligence and diligence, her bedroom still remains closely guarded by her owner.  

We are only letting ourselves down by drowning the real issues under the sea of mock feminism, cacophony of television discussions and debates every time a politician or minister makes a comment that hurts our ‘vanity’. It helps gain TRPs but doesn’t serve our purpose. It's time that we addressed our fears and inhibitions head on, instead of hiding behind the placards.

The protests and politician bashing would all have been justified if we had just dared to take the plunge in our own homes. We assert ourselves on the streets, shout and crib, face water cannons and lathi charge since it’s far away from the comforts and the rules of our home. But why do we forget that those streets would finally lead to our houses?