‘The politicians must change their mindset’, this is mostly
the rant of the women’s group including the all pervasive NCW. Every time a
male politician is caught giving out the sound byte of the day, hoards of
women, girls and association in their aggressive best adorn the streets, with
banners and slogans pontificating the male politicians on how they should
change their approach towards women.
When the President’s Son (almost a parasite on his father)
calls women panelist ‘dented and painted’ or a BJP MLA dares women not to cross
the Laxman Rekha to protect herself from the Ravana, or a frustrated Sanjay
Nirupam calls a former TV actress turned politician ‘paiso ke liye thoomke
laganewali,’ it makes us cringe. It outrages us as much an incident of rape or
molestation would. It leaves us
wondering where these men come from. Are they some sort of an alien? Who are
voting them to power? God knows.
Yet if you talk to your fathers, uncles, in laws and their
friends, it is very likely that you have been subject to similar kinds of
‘advice,’ ‘admonitions’ or ‘strictures ’. The so offensive ‘Laxman rekhas’ are drawn
around you in the garb of elderly concern in clockwise regularity. And if you
dare to outwit them, then be ready to be called ‘dented and painted’ with as
much impunity as was said by the President’s son. But we would rather put up
with all this and very conveniently divert our anger towards politicians.
The politicians are rather soft targets. For us they are the
embodiments, a collective face for all the ordeals we face in our day to day
life. They are like the paper effigies, the ravanas that we burn to symbolize
the defeat of evil and the victory of goodness. So, it is easy to hit a symbol,
a non human entity that is outside our realm of existence. But when it comes to
men of blood and flesh who pervade our lives and to some extent dictate it as
well, we would choose to abide by them and get our share of independence
through ‘lies,’ ‘crookery,’ ‘in hiding.’
So, women of the 21st Century are an emancipated
lot. But alas they are just underground rebels! For them wearing red lipstick
is no more the stuff of a bad girl, but suspiciously the shades go notches
lighter as they enter the confines of their home. For the new woman drinking
and puking is oh so fashionable, but her parents must not know that she does
so. And oh she has taken the ultimate plunge by almost rubbing off the word
‘virginity’ from her consciousness (as she claims) and working against it with
a certain vengeance. Yet she would take all the precautions to clear off the
clutter of her nocturnal escapades with the precision of a cold blooded murderer
who never leaves behind any proof of his crime. So, while she basks in the
glory of being the woman who has come of age, she remains the model of ‘good
girl’ for her family and relatives.
There is nothing wrong in having the best of both worlds.
But what is wrong is our approach. We feel we can simply set things right by
witch hunting the politicians, by butchering them for their so called anti
female comments, by shouting at the pitch of our voice to get justice on the
streets while speaking in hushed voices around our fathers.
One of the biggest fights of feminism since its inception
has been to diminish the demarcation of the public space and the private space.
With time while women have occupied the public space, their private space
continues to be defined by old stereotypes and no one else but she is to be
blamed for this. While she creates waves in the newsroom or the boardroom with
her feminine intelligence and diligence, her bedroom still remains closely
guarded by her owner.
We are only letting ourselves down by drowning the real
issues under the sea of mock feminism, cacophony of television discussions and
debates every time a politician or minister makes a comment that hurts our
‘vanity’. It helps gain TRPs but doesn’t serve our purpose. It's time that we
addressed our fears and inhibitions head on, instead of hiding behind the
placards.
The protests and politician bashing would all have been
justified if we had just dared to take the plunge in our own homes. We assert
ourselves on the streets, shout and crib, face water cannons and lathi charge
since it’s far away from the comforts and the rules of our home. But why do we
forget that those streets would finally lead to our houses?
